Remembrance
by Judge1964
Summary: If you remember someone, they aren't truly gone. They just aren't here right now. Hiccup knows this far too well... Two-Shot
1. Stoick

**I have returned with another heart-wrencher! I'm so kind. Anyway, rewatching HTTYD 2 for the millionth time, I came across the scene with Astrid leaning her head on Hiccup's shoulder when Stoick dies. And thus, this fic was born.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _I'm sorry, Dad_

Hiccup Haddock awoke, thrashing from the ever-present nightmare, and slipped out of bed, quietly climbing down the ladder and onto the first floor of his house.

 _I'm not the Chief that you wanted me to be_

He snuck into the most recent addition to the house, and stared at the tiny bundle, sound asleep.

 _And I'm not the Peacekeeper I thought I was_

"Son."

 _I don't know…_

* * *

"Babe?" Hiccup turned to find Astrid, leaning against the door, staring at him. "You okay?"

 _Why can't you follow the simplest orders?_

Hiccup closed his eyes and nodded. "Y-yeah. Sorry to wake you, Milady."

 _Take him back to the house. I have his mess to clean up_

Astrid enveloped him in a hug. "It's that nightmare again, isn't it?"

 _No one is more surprised, or more proud, than I am. Today my boy becomes a Viking. Today, he becomes one of us!_

Hiccup felt the tears slide down his cheeks. "Yeah. It just…hasn't stopped hurting yet."

 _I should have known. I should have seen the signs. We had a deal!_

"Oh, Babe." Astrid held him tighter. "Stoick would have been proud of the Chief you've become. And of the father."

 _You've thrown your lot in with_ them _. You're not a Viking. You're not my son._

Hiccup sighed. "I failed him. He warned me not to go, and I ignored him. I killed him. Through my ignorance and stupidity, I killed him. Not Toothless, not Drago, me."

 _I'm proud to call you my son_

Astrid pulled away and frowned. "Do you really believe that? Hiccup, Stoick _chose_ to save you. He made that choice." She turned Hiccup to face the tiny bed. "Look at our son and tell me he didn't make the right choice."

 _He's alive. You brought my boy back alive!_

Hiccup swallowed. "I just wasn't ready to let him go."

 _So, what do you think?_

Astrid returned to hugging Hiccup. "None of us were. And we are all still grieving him. Our son will never get to know his grandfather. Only hear the stories of him. I'll never get to witness the pride and joy that would have been on his face when you became Chief. And you'll never get to hear him call you 'son' ever again."

 _Haha! There he is! The Pride of Berk!_

Hiccup pulled away and faced the bed. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?"

 _A Chief protects his own._

Astrid sighed. "My point is, you're not alone. And we'll face it together."

 _We can be a family again! What do you say?_

Hiccup nodded and gently kissed his sleeping son's forehead. "Get some rest, Bud." He turned and smiled sadly at his wife. "Come on, Milady. We need to sleep too."

 _Hiccup!_

As he exited the room, Hiccup turned back and stared at his sleeping son. "Sweet Dreams, Stoick."

* * *

 **I firmly believe that both Hiccup and Astrid would have struggled with Stoick's** **death. Hiccup never really dealt with those emotions (That we saw). Hoping that HTTYD 3 or any in-between TV Shows deal with this.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Toothless

**Part Two to a one-shot I never thought would become somthing more, this is spoiler _HEAVY_ for How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World. DO NOT read if you want to spoil the greatest ending of all time!**

 **That being said, if you're here, you've seen the movie, and seen _that_ scene. You probably laughed and cried, especially in the final five minutes. I did. Still do. And, for this chapter to be a Remembrance, I couldn't very well go into the deep psycological impacts of Hiccup letting Toothless go. The backlash he may have gotten from his Tribe in the following months. I'm sure more talented writers than me will do that. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"He thinks he has to lead alone, well, because his father had to."

Valka's words from years earlier resurfaced in Astrid's mind as she watched her husband stand on the cliff, staring out to sea. She had been doing the same daily ever since they went. But as hard as she was taking it, Astrid knew Hiccup was taking it harder.

Toothless was his very first friend, a friend long before Astrid and the others joined him. To let him go would be the worst thing Hiccup would ever have to do.

Even the birth of their kids, which Astrid _knew_ was one the greatest days of their lives, was still peppered with thoughts about the dragons. What life on New Berk would be like with them, what it might look like.

Astrid stopped at Hiccup's side. "Hey."

Hiccup glanced at her. "Hey."

The word was empty, toneless. Astrid frowned. "You okay?"

"Just great." He muttered sarcastically. Then he sighed. "I'm just thinking."

Astrid took his hand. "He would have stayed if you asked."

Hiccup nodded. "That's why I couldn't. I'd be just like Viggo. He would be enslaved on Berk; unable to follow his mate."

Astrid's eyes narrowed. Hiccup was going to great lengths to not say the word Toothless. "Do you think they'll come back?"

Hiccup let out a harsh, bitter laugh. "It's been ten years since they went. No, I don't."

"Really?"

Hiccup looked at her for the first time. "Yes." He sighed. "We had to learn how to survive without them. If we allowed ourselves to hope they come back, we would have never of done that."

Astrid slowly nodded and pulled him away from the cliff. "Come on. The kids want to go sailing."

Hiccup gave a small smile at that. But both of them knew that their children shouldn't want to go sailing, but flying. "Then we had better not keep them waiting."

Astrid nudged him as they walked back towards the village. "Any ideas on where we're going?"

Hiccup's smile grew. "I thought we'd head south today."

Astrid nearly stopped. The family had gone sailing before, but always in different directions. East, North, West, but never South. Because the dragons had gone south.

It was evidence that Hiccup was still hoping for his Best Friend to return.

Astrid smiled back. "Then let's go."

* * *

Hiccup's eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock as the fog parted enough for a pair of ears to be seen. Ears Hiccup knew as well as anyones.

His excitement grew as the familiar body, with an ever-so-slightly different coloured left tail fin, leapt up and flew a short distance to land on the stern of their ship. Hiccup could hear Astrid's gasp and his children's whimpers of fear, but his sole attention was on the dragon before him.

Toothless.

"Hey." Hiccup held out his hand, slowly. "Hey there, Bud."

Toothless slowly edged towards him, his pupils slanted in the shape they were those first few visits to the Cove. Hiccup slowly backed off, hand slowly inching higher. "Remember me?"

Toothless was now almost on top of him, so Hiccup extended his hand all the way and turned his head, the last expression he saw the look of faint fear on Astrid's face as their children buried their heads in her cloak.

The snout of warm dragon scales Hiccup had expected never came, as Toothless barged into Hiccup and began licking him with reckless abandon.

Hiccup couldn't help but laugh. The past ten years, while filled with excitement as he tried his best to honour his father's legacy and navigate actually running the village on his own and his marriage to Astrid, it all just wasn't the same without Toothless. Sure, the dragon had only been there six years, but that felt like a lifetime. So much had happened in those six years.

But now, with tenacious dragon slobber meaning he would have to wash his leg _again_ , this felt like home.

Even if it meant they still couldn't be together.

Hiccup knew that he would have to say goodbye to Toothless again. New Berk was isolated from the other Tribes in the Archipelago, but Hiccup could see how the people of the world were behaving. And the time still wasn't there for dragons to return.

But as he met Toothless's inquisitive stare at his children, Hiccup smiled. Even if only for a moment, his family was back together again.

Maybe one day they could stay a family.

* * *

 **Chapter Notes!**

 **I). This was originally supposed to end with Astrid saying let's go. And then, I watched THW again. And got inspired, you know how it goes.**

 **II). As far as I know, we have no clue who the Hiccstrid kids are. Or if any of the other Riders had kids. Or if the dragons came back. Or...I'm getting ahead of myself. So, for sake of fitting in with canon, both existant and thoughts in Dean Deblois's mind, they shall remain 'the children'. (Let's be honest; there are too many unanswered questions in those final minutes that all of us true fans _have_ to have answered.)**

 **III). I'll go ahead and apologise here. No, Hiccup doesn't ride Toothless back to New Berk. I thought about it, but I do believe that would be making this an AU. Believe me, I've only seen THW a few times, but I already have a few full-length stories out there.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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